If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
