if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am full of burrito and curiosity
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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