Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
