yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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