Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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