I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
