Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
