My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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