Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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