He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
