i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
