Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So vagazzling was a success
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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