i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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