Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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