go do what you do best...puke behind churches
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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