My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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