wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
His nipple licking is glorious
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