margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
