I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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