This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
