So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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