oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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