you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize