You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
