My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
