Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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