You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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