I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
