I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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