Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
