Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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