I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
