just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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