You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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