Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
