So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
