the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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