This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i love accidental penises.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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