I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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