Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
