Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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