Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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