fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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