I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
