he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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