I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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