I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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