TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
