I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
