i don't like sucking hair
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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