If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
