ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
